Memoirs Of A Pen Pal 3
Blowing Off Mr. Chicago... Philippines, 3 months
If there were emails that usually merit the delete button for me, they're 3 liner notes like the one Mr. Chicago had just sent. It'd then largely depend on my mood whether I'd junk them or trouble myself to visit the sender's profile. But it so happened I was feeling magnanimous that day and browsed the friendfinder website to take a look at Mr. Chicago's data. Surprise, surprise he has a photo wearing a suit no less (I later learned it was taken 5 years ago at that time) I checked his age and calculated that he was 16 years older than me. Hmmm... another reason why I should ignore his email like what I did to others who were beyond my 10 years older age limit.
I might have been a fan of Mills And Boons and once thought 40 year old successful, arrogant men falling for naive, wide-eyed 20 year olds makes for a romantic love story but I have thought myself matured by then to realize that in real life it won't work. How could a guy, aged 46, relate to a 30 year old anyway?
But as I continued perusing his page I realized that Mr. Chicago and I did have a lot of things in common. Books, movies, outdoors, running were among them, he also mentioned that he wrote short stories for a hobby, which proved to be intriguing to a visual artist like me. Plus he was single, non-smoker, social drinker, never been married, no kids, had a stable job, loves pets and a Catholic. A mirror image of me. So how does a woman respond to an almost abrupt email like that? I zoomed in on his interests and I must admit wrote a 1 paragraph inspired letter which sought to impress a writer like him. What can I say, in his own words 12 hours later, he wrote that he was "blown away."
So I caught the fancy of Mr. Chicago. The problem though, even if he was the most interesting and nicest among the men I was writing to, at the back of my head I was still doubtful of our age gap. I thought that our correspondence, however fairly regular and frequent, would soon die down like some of the guys in the past too. It didn't help that 3 months into our correspondence when I was doing my art workshops in my hometown my PC started acting up which made checking my emails an unpalatable and tiring task. Besides, I was basically tired of the internet dating scene altogether. What the heck I thought, I should end this madness and put all of us, including Mr. Chicago, out of our misery. I stopped writing altogether.
Mr. Chicago was the most persistent of the lot. I got 3 more mails from him asking why I didn't wrote back, if he did anything to offend me etc. But I hardened my heart. He will eventually get over it, I thought, as I had with the others a lot of times. His letters went unanswered.
2 months later, I packed my bags and took a flight to China.
Meeting Mr. Wrong... Philippines, a duration of 2 years
12 hours after I clicked "send", email responses started pouring in. Most of them guys and only a couple of women (the latter lasted just 2 emails later - looking back they must have wondered what I was up to). On the 5th day I met Mr. Scotland and sparks flew. We were both enthralled. The exchange bordered on feverish, we wrote long emails every single day, and every weekday night I was on tenterhooks for the clock to strike 10pm, it was our unofficial cyberspace meeting time for a 2 hour YM chat. We had fun, we were tickled. I couldn't believe it, after just 5 days I seemed to have found Mr. Right! This went on for about 4 months.
But several things bothered me about Mr. Scotland, first he only chats and emails me at work. I was thinking wouldn't it be more special if he spared some of his weekend exclusively talking with me? Second, even if he worked with a big phone company he never made a move to call me but when he did (2x) it was sort of grudging (yes, it was still at work too) and admittedly our YM chats was better than our phone conversation. He sounded distant and seemed like he wanted me to take the lead. Third, he was my age (late 20s) but still lived with his parents (is this normal in Scotland?). Fourth, he would disappear for a week or 2 weeks without notice, only to find out later that he went on a vacation. Fifth, after cyber-whispering to me sweet nothings, and voiced out loud of visiting me in the Philippines there wasn't anything solid in his plans.
I painfully came to the conclusion that Mr. Scotland wasn't into me as much as I was to him. 5 months and we weren't moving forward from the "flirting" stage. So I broke off whatever "relationship" we had. He said he was hurt. But a month later I found out that he was involved (long term commitment as he would put it) with another scottish girl from work. How very convenient.
More Mister(s) Mistake...
So I continued sending and getting emails from other guys around the world. One of my friends who I got hooked into internet search led me to starmatch.com where I met Mr. Java Programming from Canada. It was the first time I met somebody who doesn't have a sense of taste, literally. There was Mr. Florida who got divorced from his wife after a month and seemed to have issues with his adoptive parents and his ex. There was Mr. Pilot/Drummer from New York who lost more than 80 pounds. Mr. Restaurateur from the US who was a young widower with 3 small kids. Mr. Biker from Switzerland who called me up at 3am and had an off-putting goat laugh. Etcetera. A lot of them were really nice guys but no sparks like Mr. Scotland.
Not surprisingly I also met a lot of creeps from this website, like Mr. Desert Guy from the US (at that time I could hardly differentiate the 50 states) who offered to fly me over the US. I never heard from him again when I questioned the discrepancy of the birthdate in his profile and the age of his son. Or in the ICQ a guy from the Middle East whose initial message was "want to feel my hot lips?". Or a guy in Israel who claims to be an Indian working there as a scientist and also happens to be a successful fashion designer with shows and exhibits left and right in his homeland. Or Mr. Musician from Canada whose first letter asked if I was a virgin. He said that he also asked this of another filipina and he doesn't know why she got angry. He didn't fare better with me either.
Fast forward a year and a half later I was already working in Cebu. Another friend insisted I sign up at friendfinder.com, by this time I was already on the verge of giving up and wasn't really looking forward to going back to writing that introductory email. I have lost some steam. However the determination of meeting Mr. Right halfway and the gut feel that he wasn't in the Philippines made me forge ahead. More misters mistake. Then on February around 1 year and 10 months of searching, I got a very short note from friendfinder that said I was pretty and asked if I would be interested in writing to him. What do you know, it was Mr. Chicago.
click to continue reading...
VIP Parking
Last Saturday, taking advantage of the springlike weather (high 60s) I went shopping for maternity tees. As I was consulting the mall's layout/map on the wall I noticed on the legend that the stork with baby icon was a parking area symbol exclusively for expectant mothers (see yellow highlighted text in the photo) like me. Sweet! Hope it's not indoor or parallel parking though...
If there were emails that usually merit the delete button for me, they're 3 liner notes like the one Mr. Chicago had just sent. It'd then largely depend on my mood whether I'd junk them or trouble myself to visit the sender's profile. But it so happened I was feeling magnanimous that day and browsed the friendfinder website to take a look at Mr. Chicago's data. Surprise, surprise he has a photo wearing a suit no less (I later learned it was taken 5 years ago at that time) I checked his age and calculated that he was 16 years older than me. Hmmm... another reason why I should ignore his email like what I did to others who were beyond my 10 years older age limit.
I might have been a fan of Mills And Boons and once thought 40 year old successful, arrogant men falling for naive, wide-eyed 20 year olds makes for a romantic love story but I have thought myself matured by then to realize that in real life it won't work. How could a guy, aged 46, relate to a 30 year old anyway?
But as I continued perusing his page I realized that Mr. Chicago and I did have a lot of things in common. Books, movies, outdoors, running were among them, he also mentioned that he wrote short stories for a hobby, which proved to be intriguing to a visual artist like me. Plus he was single, non-smoker, social drinker, never been married, no kids, had a stable job, loves pets and a Catholic. A mirror image of me. So how does a woman respond to an almost abrupt email like that? I zoomed in on his interests and I must admit wrote a 1 paragraph inspired letter which sought to impress a writer like him. What can I say, in his own words 12 hours later, he wrote that he was "blown away."
So I caught the fancy of Mr. Chicago. The problem though, even if he was the most interesting and nicest among the men I was writing to, at the back of my head I was still doubtful of our age gap. I thought that our correspondence, however fairly regular and frequent, would soon die down like some of the guys in the past too. It didn't help that 3 months into our correspondence when I was doing my art workshops in my hometown my PC started acting up which made checking my emails an unpalatable and tiring task. Besides, I was basically tired of the internet dating scene altogether. What the heck I thought, I should end this madness and put all of us, including Mr. Chicago, out of our misery. I stopped writing altogether.
Mr. Chicago was the most persistent of the lot. I got 3 more mails from him asking why I didn't wrote back, if he did anything to offend me etc. But I hardened my heart. He will eventually get over it, I thought, as I had with the others a lot of times. His letters went unanswered.
2 months later, I packed my bags and took a flight to China.
Meeting Mr. Wrong... Philippines, a duration of 2 years
12 hours after I clicked "send", email responses started pouring in. Most of them guys and only a couple of women (the latter lasted just 2 emails later - looking back they must have wondered what I was up to). On the 5th day I met Mr. Scotland and sparks flew. We were both enthralled. The exchange bordered on feverish, we wrote long emails every single day, and every weekday night I was on tenterhooks for the clock to strike 10pm, it was our unofficial cyberspace meeting time for a 2 hour YM chat. We had fun, we were tickled. I couldn't believe it, after just 5 days I seemed to have found Mr. Right! This went on for about 4 months.
But several things bothered me about Mr. Scotland, first he only chats and emails me at work. I was thinking wouldn't it be more special if he spared some of his weekend exclusively talking with me? Second, even if he worked with a big phone company he never made a move to call me but when he did (2x) it was sort of grudging (yes, it was still at work too) and admittedly our YM chats was better than our phone conversation. He sounded distant and seemed like he wanted me to take the lead. Third, he was my age (late 20s) but still lived with his parents (is this normal in Scotland?). Fourth, he would disappear for a week or 2 weeks without notice, only to find out later that he went on a vacation. Fifth, after cyber-whispering to me sweet nothings, and voiced out loud of visiting me in the Philippines there wasn't anything solid in his plans.
I painfully came to the conclusion that Mr. Scotland wasn't into me as much as I was to him. 5 months and we weren't moving forward from the "flirting" stage. So I broke off whatever "relationship" we had. He said he was hurt. But a month later I found out that he was involved (long term commitment as he would put it) with another scottish girl from work. How very convenient.
More Mister(s) Mistake...
So I continued sending and getting emails from other guys around the world. One of my friends who I got hooked into internet search led me to starmatch.com where I met Mr. Java Programming from Canada. It was the first time I met somebody who doesn't have a sense of taste, literally. There was Mr. Florida who got divorced from his wife after a month and seemed to have issues with his adoptive parents and his ex. There was Mr. Pilot/Drummer from New York who lost more than 80 pounds. Mr. Restaurateur from the US who was a young widower with 3 small kids. Mr. Biker from Switzerland who called me up at 3am and had an off-putting goat laugh. Etcetera. A lot of them were really nice guys but no sparks like Mr. Scotland.
Not surprisingly I also met a lot of creeps from this website, like Mr. Desert Guy from the US (at that time I could hardly differentiate the 50 states) who offered to fly me over the US. I never heard from him again when I questioned the discrepancy of the birthdate in his profile and the age of his son. Or in the ICQ a guy from the Middle East whose initial message was "want to feel my hot lips?". Or a guy in Israel who claims to be an Indian working there as a scientist and also happens to be a successful fashion designer with shows and exhibits left and right in his homeland. Or Mr. Musician from Canada whose first letter asked if I was a virgin. He said that he also asked this of another filipina and he doesn't know why she got angry. He didn't fare better with me either.
Fast forward a year and a half later I was already working in Cebu. Another friend insisted I sign up at friendfinder.com, by this time I was already on the verge of giving up and wasn't really looking forward to going back to writing that introductory email. I have lost some steam. However the determination of meeting Mr. Right halfway and the gut feel that he wasn't in the Philippines made me forge ahead. More misters mistake. Then on February around 1 year and 10 months of searching, I got a very short note from friendfinder that said I was pretty and asked if I would be interested in writing to him. What do you know, it was Mr. Chicago.
click to continue reading...
VIP Parking
Last Saturday, taking advantage of the springlike weather (high 60s) I went shopping for maternity tees. As I was consulting the mall's layout/map on the wall I noticed on the legend that the stork with baby icon was a parking area symbol exclusively for expectant mothers (see yellow highlighted text in the photo) like me. Sweet! Hope it's not indoor or parallel parking though...
Currently listening to: Bach's Concerto For Flute...1st Movement
Currently reading: Jo Frost's Supernanny
Currently watching: Bride And Prejudice (Indian movie)
Posted by geri at 01:51 PM | 5 thought balloons
geri
In, I don't remember that conversation. I'm pretty sure that Tom remembers I was in China because he never let me forgets that I "blew hi off" when I was in China haha.
Wigget, in my time I wish I had discovered forums or blogs about pen-pal relationship, it would be comforting to know what other people's stories were. I also had a lot of questions.
Ed, I have to keep my eyes open for those spots, I never knew they even existed. DMV should impose a expectant mother sticker for the car in the future :)
Ed Abbey (guest)
wigget (guest)
in-in (guest)
Toms persistent paid off. Kiss Tom for me Ger. *wink*
carlo (guest)