I honestly didn't have any idea what was going to hit me. It was one of those things that I thought I did but actually didn't. I wasn't expecting that giving birth to my first (and only?) child would leave me a trainwreck healthwise. I had thought that since I was in good shape pre-pregnancy (before my first miscarriage I had only been admitted to a hospital once when I was 10 because my grandmother was nervous of my 38 degree fever), aside from the expected soreness in the private areas and temporary loss of bladder control I've read on books, I was going to be okay for the most part. Tired, sure, but okay.

The last few days everybody's been commenting on my unusual spikey "bangs". They're brand new baby hair from my hair loss. From the way they're sticking out, I might be lucky enough to have straight fringes of hair on my forehead, my dream in high school. Tom says I look like catwoman. I like the comparison.

The first sign that things weren't going to go by the book in my case was the morning after I gave birth. When I checked the bathroom mirror I was horrified to see both eyes terribly bloodshot. Sore eyes looked mild to what I had. An OB later told me that I burst some veins from the strain of pushing during childbirth. He assured me that his wife also had it and went away in 2 weeks. Eventually it did, but not after I had to endure 2 weeks of well-wishers looking oddly at me following their congratulations. 

Next my hands and feet were very swollen for about a week. So engorged that I could hardly feel any sensation in them. It made learning how to breastfeed harder and so was the very simple act of getting in and out of bed too. Even walking.

The incontinence was worse than I had thought. Evan was almost 3 months old when I attempted to trot instead of jog while pushing the stroller but I had to stop for fear of embarrassing myself if I didn't. Or the mere sound of dripping water was enough to make me want to run to the bathroom. That thankfully got better too.

Two weeks after birth, as what I had written in a past entry, I also had infection that required an ER visit, several tests and antibiotics.

Then the tendonitis. I read that many new moms develop carpal tunnel syndrome from burping the baby. I blame the epidural for mine. Because of my swollen hands and the lack of sensation I didn't have a way of knowing I was already abusing my wrists and inflicting pain on them.

Insomnia, even with Evan sleeping through at 2 months, I on the other hand couldn't. I could only manage 2 hours before waking up on and off for the rest of the night. Many evenings I would lie awake for 4 straight hours then manage 30 minutes before it's time to get up. It greatly improved shortly before Evan turned 6 months. I mostly can do 6 hours uninterrupted nowadays which works very well for me.

When Evan was almost 4 months old Tom pointed out what I suspected, I was obviously losing hair. What's worse, most of them came from the front of my head. I was having a receding hairline at the age of 36! Two months later, to my relief, they grew back.

Dental problems. A couple of twenty something year old root canals weakened and needed some work. Another round of antibiotics for that one too. What did they say again about for each child a tooth? 

Infection recurred. Infection cured.

This morning my primary physician prescribed a $25 ointment (with insurance) for skin allergy. If there was one good thing about having to go to the clinic, again, was finding out I lost 5 pounds from last time (without even trying - yay!) and still have the blood pressure of a teen-ager.

At this point going to the clinic seem neverending. Between Evan and I, our total doctor visits seem to equal the sum of all my medical appointments of thirty plus years pre-Evan.

There are days when I do get frustrated and question why I seem to have a harder time than other mommies. These are the possible answers that I came up with: it could be post-pregnancy hormonal imbalance, it could be deficiency of nutrients because of poor diet while breastfeeding, it could be my being a first time mommy in mid-30s, it could be stress and fatigue or it could be I am experiencing what most mothers have experienced but something they don't normally talk or have forgotten about.

One thing I know for sure, having my son in this world with me make all these aches and pains very minor. I would do it all over again if I need to. I would walk through fire for him.

*****ADDENDUM(1/8/07):
And how could I miss? Deafness. Something I had pre-pregnancy which worsened postpartum. Just like my hands and feet I tag the epidural as the perpetrator for my temporary handicap because it caused water retention. I had it for a month, which made driving a stick/shift nervewracking so much so I had to do a trial run around the neighbourhood before having the confidence of taking a newborn in the car with me.

See, mothers eventually forget.

This entry is not meant to scare would be new mommies but to inform. Something I wish somebody warned me about. My best and congratulations to Merydith and Bless! Don't forget your vitamins.  

Breaking News

Today Evan showed mommy and daddy how he can stand with his back against the base of the sofa. But the more exciting news is, he sat up by himself from lying on his tummy. While I was writing this earlier in the afternoon I heard Evan grunting "eh-eh-eh". When I checked he was sitting up, looking at me with a proud and wide 2 teeth grin. I ran to Tom who was behind his computer and asked if he sat Evan up, Tom replied no. We both rushed and heaped praises on our darling boy.

I must qualify though that he must have attempted to crawl backwards but was stopped by our couch, the "stopper" helped him get up.

Update 01/07/07 (Sunday): I underestimated my son, he sat up again by himself from tummy position this afternoon without "stoppers". He can also scoot forward deliberately by several feet while following a ball. Time to seriously childproof this house.

Currently listening to: Tom's Bruce Springsteen CD
Currently reading: The Inheritance Of Loss (Kiran Desai)
Currently watching: The Last Kiss (Zach Braff)