You know, I have debated with the idea of putting a "fat" picture of me when I was doing my Weight Watchers journey blog posts last year. But I resisted for a couple of reasons 1.) I felt that I shouldn't be critical of the person that I was before 2.) I don't have photos of me at my heaviest because I avoided having my photos taken then or if I couldn't avoid the camera, I don't have a copy developed for me (oh, the pre-digital camera era).

As I've mentioned a few times, at my biggest I was 40 pounds heavier than I am now. Heavier than when I was 9 months pregnant. The sad part is, this was when I was in college when I was 19 or 20 years old. Young ladies that age should physically be at their best, at their most attractive. The age when beauty comes naturally for most women. It wasn't in my case.

Make no mistake, I was happy. I had fun. In fact, I had more fun in college than in high school. I was active, I participated in sports and the stage. As a student I produced good paintings. The only downside of my college life was that the mind image of myself never matched the mirror image and it bothered me deeply.

What caused the weight gain? Misguided dieting, late nights and lack of sleep or oversleeping. There were days I would decide not to eat meat but would gorge on P6 worth of Anita's Cheese Roll (10 pieces), or days I would skip lunch but would have a snack of family size Mr. Chips and Coke 500. I never really pigged out, just ate the wrong food at the wrong amount.

The photo is not the fattest of me yet, I bet more would surface on Facebook (as this photo did the other day which triggered this post) but it was in this period that I tipped the scale farthest. In fact it never failed to amuse me how after college I would often get remarks how I have lost weight even if I had just gained 10 pounds from my yo-yo dieting. I have a feeling that people who know me in the Philippines will always have the obese Geraldine association with me. Which is not too bad I suppose. I remember my high school classmate Christopher's off the cuff remark to me during my visit to my hometown last March, "kini si Geraldine kung kanus-a naminyo mao hinuoy pagniwang" (it's funny how Geraldine got slim AFTER she got married instead of the other way around).

I am definitely taking that as a compliment.