I was chatting with Evan's friend's mom the other day. Her son is also 3 years old like Evan. She was relating to me the tough time she had been having with her son's defiance and contrariness. Hmmm... that surely sounded familiar.

Cat In The Hat interviewing Batman about his utility belt.

Evan was exactly like that for two weeks. Tell him "no" and he will yell at you. Give him a scolding and he will "blow raspberries" (almost spittinglike) as defiance. Meltdown in the middle of the street for all the neighbors to hear? Yup, we had several of that. I recently browsed a book "Your Three Old: Friend Or Enemy" and that exactly what our relationship for the past month has been like. Now, since last week, we are buddies again.

I nodded sympathetically at what the other mom was saying, then something occurred to me and I shared it with her. "You know, somebody have told me that these moods are like waves. Some weeks they are contrary and other weeks they are very cooperative. But what I have noticed with Evan was that after the days of being difficult he sort of hits a milestone and what follows are really good changes."

Like he is much more calm not when we are outdoors. He actually holds my hand willingly, walks on the sidewalk and enjoy a conversation with me. The first time this happened was when he got bored on the small, deserted playground and I invited him to walk with me in the neighborhood, to wade through fallen leaves and look at decorated houses. And we did that, and we both had fun. We were doing something what grown-ups would do!

There was the other "first times" too the night when I told Evan to put all his toys in a box, left his room and when I came back, there wasn't a single toy on the floor. Or when I handed him his briefs and pants and when I came back he wasn't in his room anymore but in the living room wearing the said underwear and bottoms. Or when I did grocery with him no longer seated at the cart (at his request) but walking along with me and having fun pushing the cart, helping me put the vegetables inside the plastic bag. Or when he didn't go crazy at the toy section in Target but did look at the toys one by one and chose only one of the cheaper toys that I told him that he can have (I told him big, expensive toys are only for birthdays and christmas).

I really thought that Evan would be whining during Halloween with all the other kids in their Superhero costumes, but he didn't at all. What he would do was just follow them around, ask questions about their costumes ("Batman, is that your utility belt?" "Ironman, is that your mask?" "Buzz, are you a superhero?"), complimenting them ("Nice Flash costume!") but he never whined to my relief.

This morning we were at the library's foyer and Evan was putting around 10 books back in the return slot. An older gentleman stopped and jokingly asked me, "how much are you paying him?" I laughed. He complimented, "he is really doing a good job. I wish I taught my daugher how to do that." I do remember another friend bemoaning the fact how her now 9 year old daughter was lazy in fixing her room or even getting water from the fridge. My friend regrets of not training her when she was younger partly because it was faster when the parent's does it themselves, "we treated her like a princess for too long when actually they love to help around the younger they are."

And I can see it in Evan now. Having him underfoot while vacuuming, doing the laundry or dishes, dusting the house may make doing the chores longer but it is play for him. And learning too. Another wave might come in a few weeks or so again but knowing the positive developments that comes after it makes riding out the tough preschooler mood swings all worthwhile.